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Holy shit, I just typed up this long post about where I've been gone… - It's Not Stupid, It's Advanced
August 2006
 
 
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Sun, Jul. 23rd, 2006 09:12 pm
Holy shit, I just typed up this long post about where I've been gone to all this time, and my fingers slipped and it got deleted. Seriously.

To make a long story short: I'm better off. I have more self-confidence, and I'm more willing to assert Truths about myself. 10 weeks in an adult residential substance abuse program (aka rehab) will change a man.

I am calm, reasonable, charismatic, trustworthy, and a natural-born leader. I have the Tao of leadership, which is to say that if I accept a project from you, I will do it so gracefully that you'll forget you asked and just accept it as done.

And as of right now: I'm living with my mom outside of Sac again. Lonely. Hot. But I've got a huge support system out there, I went to an NA meeting today, and one yesterday. Just got invited to a rez to take part in a recovery-only sweat. ^_____^ And I'm going back to school. Again. I think you can find me swearing never to move back up here or go back to school, somewhere in this journal. Luckily I now know that growth is a greater virtue than consistency. ^____^

Anyway. How y'all been?

20CommentReplyShare

bellacrow
bellacrow
Mark of the Harlot
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 06:10 am (UTC)

OMG!!!

argh, I never got a chance to call you while you were there, I figured a captive audience ;-P *ducks*

I'm so glad to hear how good you feel! Please let me know what you need from me to help continue with this.

P.S.
We're coming home!


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mirgar
mirgar
Eric
Sat, Aug. 19th, 2006 09:50 am (UTC)

Coming home? You mean to the Bay Area?

Congratulations! Found a place, found work, got any details set up?


ReplyThread Parent
bellacrow
bellacrow
Mark of the Harlot
Sat, Aug. 19th, 2006 05:52 pm (UTC)

thank you!

we're having to do it in steps. I'm coming out early Sept, staying at Hippie Hollow and job hunting/temp working/saving money. As soon as I get benefits Ryan will shut down the house here and come out.

*excited*

how're you doing now?


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mia_tremere
mia_tremere
Zephyrr
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 07:13 am (UTC)

YAY!

It's so good to hear these from you, Eric! Self-confidence is a tough sack to pick up, but once you do everything else somehow just gets lighter. I'm seriously glad to be able to read all these positive words. You're totally right, besides. Growth is *much* greater than not having to eat your past words...but really, if it was a past you that said them, some of those words can sort of be pushed off to the side of the plate. Right? Maybe, hehe, I dunno, I'm just happy to hear that you're doing well!!!


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mirgar
mirgar
Eric
Sat, Aug. 19th, 2006 09:50 am (UTC)

Hearing from you brought a smile to my face -- you were around for some of the things I'm less proud of, and it's reassuring to know you don't find me completely obnoxious.

Forgiveness has been a difficult trip for me... realizing that people often forgive themselves for things I don't forgive them for... and realizing that I'm the one with the problem here... and then giving myself permission to forgive myself, let shit go... but without turning into a self-righteous fundamentalist jerk about it. Tricky. ;)

How's life been with you? Still in Reno?


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trogula
trogula
trogula
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 07:30 am (UTC)

Things are going well, all things considered. Was a bit worried about you - found out you left last night. It sounds to me like you're doing what you need to do right now to get your life going, so I am less worried :-)

Give me a call when you get the chance. Take care!


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hilarypoet
Hilary
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 04:23 pm (UTC)
Glad you are, well, glad you are!

Sorry I did not call you back re birthday party. We were broke, and I was still trying to pull one together so's we could see you, at least in part. Trogula and Rentravler said that they were going to try to check you out for at least one occasion. We're doing a hammer passing Aug 4 - check it out on the Hammer Oak list. And if you check my LJ, we're doing a movie run next weekend.

I sound frantic, don't I? It's not the case; things are going reasonably. You sound calm. "A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of small minds" or possibly "Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, for I contain multitudes"
Love you!


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moonrose123
moonrose123
RAW
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 05:21 pm (UTC)

Congrats on your hard work completed and good luck and success with the work to come.


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diadexxus
diadexxus
Diadexxus
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 05:25 pm (UTC)

WOW< I was wondering where you went! You fell off the face of the earth, Bull.

Things have been going well.
*SNUGS* Take care hon.
-J


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lokifox
Loki DarkFox
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)

Yay, good to hear you're still around and doing well. Definatley growth is quite good. *hugs* Take care.


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lwood
lwood
Lorrie
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 10:24 pm (UTC)

Looks like you're doing well at navigating the labyrinth--good on you!

-- Lorrie


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emberleo
emberleo
Ember
Mon, Jul. 24th, 2006 10:32 pm (UTC)

Wow! Glad to hear from you again ;) (Time flies from the outside - Seems like you just went in yesterday!)

How does one go about hanging out with you nowadays?

--Ember--


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mirgar
mirgar
Eric
Sat, Aug. 19th, 2006 09:32 am (UTC)

One doesn't, really. I'm back up at my mom's in Sac, and something of a hermit. I don't really have a car of my own right now, which should make the school thing interesting, and really limits my options for any long-distance travel.

I think it'll be good for me though, being up here. I've been hopeful lately. Now the *staying* hopeful part is the trick...


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phyxis
phyxis
Phyxis
Tue, Jul. 25th, 2006 01:34 am (UTC)

I too was wondering where you'd evaporated off to. Glad you're feeling better after your hiatus! :-)


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wyrdgrrl
wyrdgrrl
wyrdgrrl
Tue, Jul. 25th, 2006 06:28 am (UTC)
What the????

When did you leave? Why did you go? I got none chance to torment you at all... Sigh....

:-}~
Glad you're in a safe place, even if it is Sac... (Hey I HAD to snark a little!)

I miss you much and hope to see you soon.

Big hugs!


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rentravler
rentravler
Rentravler
Tue, Jul. 25th, 2006 02:55 pm (UTC)

Hey babe. Can't wait to hear how the second part of Rehab went. Got so much to catch you up on!


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rentravler
rentravler
Rentravler
Sat, Jul. 29th, 2006 03:51 am (UTC)

Can't remember you email address--been so long since I used email to contact you? Ha. I guess. I have next week off, would love to visit you up at your mom's, and then possibly drag you back here for a Hammer Oak party Friday night (Aug 4), and then help me with my moving the next day? Let me know what you think.


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mirgar
mirgar
Eric
Sat, Aug. 19th, 2006 09:26 am (UTC)

Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner. Had a horrible funk of a depressive episode, but I've bounced back and I'm looking for a psychiatrist out here.

Life looks much less oppressive from here. Like I might enjoy being in school again. Like things might actually, you know, change.


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rentravler
rentravler
Rentravler
Sat, Aug. 19th, 2006 04:38 pm (UTC)

Any chance you'll be mobile again and we'll be able to see you? I got training and then school starting in a week, so my free time in limited currently. :P


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caliblackwolf
caliblackwolf
caliblackwolf
Wed, Jul. 26th, 2006 11:59 pm (UTC)

*HUGS* I am so glad to hear from you. I have been thinking of you often and I am glad to hear that you are doing well. I know what you mean about sac weather. I went to see my mom on stockton blvd and regreted not bringing her here. :)
we have new numbers so please e-mail me. I would love to hang out with you.
sarahliz47@hotmail.com


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